Men urged to report incidents of abuse

Resident Thembekile David Quqani tells police officers that he had been abused his wife. He said he was scared to go to the police station as he feared he would be ridiculed.

The fear of being ridiculed and demeaned by police often prevents men from reporting incidents of abuse in their homes.

This emerged when Khayelitsha police station officers held a workshop on domestic violence in Site C, on Monday October 16.

The three-hour workshop was aimed at denouncing domestic abuse and advising residents of ways to handle such incidents. The workshop also encouraged men to speak out.

Captain Ntandazo Mancanca, of Khayelitsha police station, said men had the right to report domestic abuse.

He urged them to report police officers who made fun of them to senior management.

“A protection order is not only granted to women, but men are also eligible to get it. I appeal to you men to stand up for your rights. Domestic violence is one of the serious cases,” he said.

Captain Mancanca said abuse could be emotional, verbal, psychological, economic, social, spiritual and cultural. He said it was difficult for police to monitor abuse as it happened behind closed doors, but urged victims to speak out.

Resident Makwayandile Mkhwangxo said he had been assaulted by his girlfriend several times, but he was unwilling to report the matter to the police as he feared further embarrassment.

He believed that many cases men had resorted to taking their lives as there was no support for them.

Another man, Thembekile David Quqani said he had been abused by his wife for many years and he had been reluctant to report the matter to the police because he feared being made a laughing stock.

The unemployed father of two said he separated from his wife as he could no longer live with her.

He said due to the abuse he suffered at the hands of his wife, he ended up turning to alcohol.

However, that did not solve his problems.

He said he tried to speak to his relatives about the abuse, but instead he was told to deal with his wife and stop being a weak man.

“Women do not want a soft and honest man. I was abused by the woman whom I loved more than life itself. I will never marry again,” he said. Mr Quqani said he had had many suicidal thoughts but he never had the courage to kill himself. He said he did not want to beat his wife in retaliation becausehe was not a violent person. He said when a woman reports an incident of abuse to the police station, officers act immediately but this was not the case for men. . He said police officers need to handle such matters with the same dignity and respect. He said there were many men who were abused but they were scared to speak out