Absent mothers must pay papgeld too

Let me dig my grave by saying what most men would not say. Many men will be crying because there will be no money to have fun this festive season. Not because they like it that way but because the money will be redirected to the fun of the women they have children with.

Some women are bullies and they will bully men who have kids with them.

Technically women should pay papgeld (child maintenance) too like the fathers of their children. I don’t say this to justify the actions of absent fathers or those who don’t want to take responsibility for their kids.

But I am tired of bullying partners, using kids nogal. I could hear you saying, uyaphambana omnye esithi uyabhuda (this Phiri is losing it and has lost his marbles). But let me assure you that I am sober. I know this is a contentious issue, not an easy subject at all.

My reasoning for women to pay papgeld is after hearing a story of my friend in Hermanus who has more than 10 children with different women.

Don’t ask me how he got there, why he was not using a condom or how he managed to cheat around, that’s if he cheated at all. Be that as it may, he relayed to me how difficult it was for him to have money in his wallet because every woman wants her share of his money.

And because he could not pay the amount the mothers wanted from him, it is difficult for him see or be part of those children’s upbringing. Isn’t that satanic? My friend does not have a decent job but he has love for his children. The man is only a taxi driver.

I have seen men and women exchanging verbal missiles regarding child support payments. Some men have told me that at times they feel they are just ATM fathers.

Going back to my friend’s story, the best thing he has ever done was to take some of his children home to his mother to assist in looking after them.

Here comes my beef. The mothers are still asking for something from him. But why? I feel in this progressive country their mothers should instead pay papgeld. Why can’t they take that responsibility of paying this guy’s mother?

It is an open secret that the same women who want money from their partners or ex-partners are South African Social Security Agency (SASSA ) beneficiaries.

This country of ours has progressive laws but sometimes fails the male species.

Why are they (women) allowed to use men as their Sassa cards? Why are they allowed to use children as pawns?

In every drama between a man and a woman, or married couple for that matter, women walk free. Women need to understand that they have a part to play in paying something when children are not with them but are with the father. I know many men who are hurt by not being able to be part of their children’s lives.

There are men out there who are penniless for reasons beyond their control and that does not go well with them.

The sad thing is that such men are barred from seeing their children by the mothers because they are not classified as “real” men.

Women call you a real man when you have money. I know some put men down not because of love for their children but for the love of money.

Most fathers would have loved to be part of their children’s upbringing and welfare. Emotionally those fathers are present fathers. To me they are decent fathers too. They care but don’t always have money. Unfortunately, your wallet is the decider. That is pathetic.

It hurts everyone not to be part of their children’s development and growth. Some of the current generation of mothers only care about wearing expensive clothes to impress the outside world.

They flock to fun places, carrying beers high. What bull is that? I started by saying “technically” but I am dropping it – women should pay papgeld.

Money alone is not enough to raise a child. Fathers too, don’t be absent – if you conceive a child, you should take full responsibility. Fight back to see your children growing up.

All these things flow from our ancestors’ sins.

Big up to those mbokodos
who always support their poor ex lovers. To men, be responsible for your sperm. How can a child be fatherless when the father is
still alive?